| every monkey was kung-fu fightiiiiiiiiing |
[17 Dec 2009|04:20pm] |
this man trained his monkeys in taekwondo so they could perform outside a shopping center and make him some cash. during one performance, he slipped and they all attacked him.
it's is the funniest god damn thing I have heard of in some time.
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| early bird |
[14 Dec 2009|12:46pm] |
early bird catches the GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO DRINK STRAIGHT FROM THE COFFEE POT WITHOUT ANY OF HIS HOUSEMATES YELLING AT HIM.
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| The Beast |
[08 Dec 2009|10:26am] |
the best thing on.
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| kitten |
[06 Dec 2009|11:53pm] |
I lost two pets trying to get down to New Orleans, but this fine, crazy, son-of-a-bitch of a town handed me one of its own.
this is Pontchartrain. despite looking like a baby, she's four months old. she likes to sit on shoulders, and will climb right up you given half the chance. she had a very sickly infancy, but seems to be on the mend apart from a winky eye and a sniffly nose.
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| I AM A DRAGON |
[28 Nov 2009|04:42pm] |
I don't think this one needs a description.
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| parsnipandcarrot |
[26 Nov 2009|07:40pm] |
carrot yells at parsnip. he yells about something or other, trying to get through to him, but parsnip can not hear him over the blaring bass of his headphones, and the burning wall of indifference and counter-culture lifestyle. it doens't even matter what carrot is trying to say to him, really. it's probably trite and false and pre-packaged and totally off the mark. he doesn't even get it.
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| peapod (and pea-pants) |
[19 Nov 2009|11:59pm] |
I'm learning how to use photo shop!!
I aspire to sell stupid tee shirts with all these guys on them.
then if someone in meatspace is wearing one, I guess we could have a high five.
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| plays. |
[15 Nov 2009|02:59am] |
It's fringe fest in old New Orleans. this means that at any hour of day on every corner, there is some sort of play going on.
from the avant garde to the corporately funded, somewhere in the city there is a play to suit every taste.
I saw three plays today.
the first was a one man play about the Loup Garou. it was set in city park, and took place just as the sky started to turn. it talked about the people of Louisiana, and their complex relationship to the land, water, and oil. it was beautiful. superbly acted, well placed, great music performed by an amazing older couple who have been playing together for 30-some-odd years, and a shockingly well made set.
the play left me feeling empty, but peaceful and inspired.
like when you finally allow yourself to cry out a shard of grief. *
the second play was called "Be My Bunny"
it was the single most awful, wretched play I have ever seen, and possibly worse than a play I could imagine coming up with WHILE INTENDING IT TO BE TERRIBLE.
it was stupid, halfhearted, poorly acted, badly sung, the plot was there, but barely...
there was this one time when one of the rabbits goes out into the world of the "two legs" and brings back bacon which all the rabbit get addicted to. the other rabbit who leaves for no apparent reason after the first rabbit goes out the rabbit hole comes back and has to win them over to the carrot side again.
this would be fine, I guess. keep in mind, on paper, it's a lot less excruciating than in meat space and time.
anyway, so this bacon thing happens, and then they start cooking bacon in back and giving it to the audience. that's enough bacon to feed 50 people.
the smell was oppressive, and greasy, and evoked memories of past Easters spent with my ham-happy family.
then there was a pillow fight that was never explained, but got feathers all over the audience, even going so far as to dump what was left in the pillows on rows of heads.
the worst part about this one was that I wanted to leave, but couldn't. there was no stage, just a room, and I was on the opposite side from the door, and it was too packed to maneuver my way over there without attracting attention to myself, which at this sort of show would have been the last thing I wanted.
I called Bob Murphy immediately upon escaping from it and told him about how awful it was, loudly.
the third play I went to tonight was a two person play (I believe by the same man who wrote Lopu Garou). it was about a punk rocker kid, waxing poetic about friends he'd lost, drinking, and love that will never be returned. by itself, it was a pretty good little play...
but the thing that really made it was this asshole in the front row. he was banging on shit while these poor people were performing, and talking over monologues with no regard for the actors, or the audience. he heckled the actor (and writer, this kid Moose-- this play was clearly something of an autobiography, and very personal and meaningful for him) and crumpled up his beer can and through it on the ground.
he even called him a dumbass at one point. he basically did everything in his power to be a disrespectful jackass.
anyway, not only was I impressed that he kept going (this theater was tiny, and this guy was LOUD and about 5 feet from him), but I was impressed with the way he handled the situation.
at the end of the play, he jumped off stage, and with a soft, forgiving look, offered his hand to the offending man for a shake. once grasped, his face contorted and revealed the rage he'd held back for the last hour. he dragged the man through the audience, pushed him out the door, through the lobby, and into the street.
I clapped, and I was joined by many.
the fresh blood on the street outside erased any lingering pain I was feeling about that bullshit bunny play.
ah, New Orleans! I love you so.
*as we walked through the field back to the car, some contraption I can only describe as a moped for the sky flew overhead, releasing from our state of awed placidity and welcoming us back to the world we live in like a powerful mint after a serious meal.
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| Lawrene and I broke up. I'm back in Boston. |
[13 Oct 2009|10:35pm] |
JUST KIDDINNNGG. we survived the arduous drive down and are presently looking for a more permanent home.
I really am in Boston, though. I flew here an an Air-o-plane. never do that if you can avoid it, by the way.
the tickets were more expensive than they were supposed to be, the first leg of my flight was delayed out of LA due to "Aircraft Late Arrival" (what?), so I missed my connecting flight in Atlanta. I arrived at the Airport at the A section, and was told to go to the E18 to wait and see if I could get on a standby flight.
then I got there and was told that the flight had switched gates, and was actually coming in at B3.
so I got to B3 and was told there was no room on that flight, and to try my luck at gate A20.
after being very emotional towards a Delta employee, I was given an in-flight-meal coupon and $50 off my next flight with Delta. I don't know where I'm going to fly in the next year, let alone where I'm going to go that will have an in-flight-meal... not to mention what sort of parasite would have to attach itself to my brain in order for me to fly Delta again-- but it was nice to get something out of this ordeal.
also, due to my long Bostonian legs, I was able to beat fellow folks on standby to the gate, and was placed fourth on the list.
I got off the plane around 9:30, got to Framingham. at 4:30a I wake up, make my way to Boston, then sit on a bus for 9 hours on my way to the Ottawa International Animation Festival.
GOD DAMN IT ANYWAY.
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[09 Oct 2009|09:40pm] |
it's hotter than hell here, by the way. a summer shower managed to crack the sweltering heat this afternoon, but not for long.
it took about an hour to peel myself off the bed.
Lawrence and I did manage to bike into the quarter. it's not going to be hard to fall in love with this place, and I'm off to a damn good start.
if I weren't too emotionally drained to enjoy things, I'd be having a ball.
things will get better. things always do.
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| I am in New Orleans. |
[09 Oct 2009|09:29pm] |
I drove from Asheville yesterday. it took about 12 hours, with a few brief breaks in between, but by the end of that day I was crabby and pretty far gone mentally.
we arrived at the house and realized we didn't actually know any of our new (temporary) house-mates numbers. after some banging on the house with no response (other than the rightly pissed off dog next door barking with a distinctly bloodthirsty tone). immediately upon accepting that we might have to spend the night elsewhere, one of them just happened to be leaving the house and let us in.
the house we're staying in is covered in strange items. there are chickens in the back yard, and all the hot peppers one could eat in a year. the dog next door lives under the house and is roped to a cinder block, and at least as pissed off as I'd be in that situation.
at least one of the housemates seems pretty rad, and it's wonderfully nice to rest my head on my own dirty sheets instead of someone else's.
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[28 Sep 2009|02:12am] |
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judah died.
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| aaaauuuuuuuughghghhh!!!!!!! |
[20 Sep 2009|12:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bits of sick |
] |
I walked outside and called for Milk. I looked around the corner, under the side stairs and saw her bushy tail waving madly about. I called her again, but she didn't respond.
I called her more loudly, and she gave me sort of a wild, urgent look, meowed, and went back to whatever she was so engaged with.
so of course, I walked down to see what it was.
it was a mouse. a recently dead one.
good going, I thought. up to that point, I though I had broken her too much to kill small things.
then it's stomach moved.
it was clearly not alive, and I've never known dead mice to spasm after they've expired.
I thought maybe it was babies, but it certainly wasn't behaving like it.
I got my surgical tools, gloves, and a mask, and laid the mouse on a paper towel on the back porch. after some careful business, I managed to work that little prize out of the expired mouse's carcass.
and it was a fucking Bot fly larva.
gross
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[09 Sep 2009|07:21pm] |
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I'm getting rid of a lot more clothes. coats, dresses, pants accessories, whatever. if anyone wants to come and take a look through them, please give me a call.
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[02 Aug 2009|09:42pm] |
I burned my thumb on a hot plate yesterday. I had to keep in in cold water to avoid surprisingly nauseating pain. after putting some gardener's salve on it and covering it with band-aids, the pain finally started to dull.
it was more or less fine throughout the shanty party, only bothering me when it was accidentally whacked or wet or something.
today when I finally woke up and went to change the band-aids, I saw that three separate blisters had formed, each below the other.
it is weird as hell.
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[02 Jul 2009|03:46am] |
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DAAAAAAMN if that wasn't a terrifyingly loud thunder blast.
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| SNAFU'd, but it's just fine. |
[28 Jun 2009|12:19pm] |
I spent the day with Gene. I hadn't seen him in a while, and I get to missing that kid really quickly.
Lawrence left Sexton street in the late morning to hop a bus to NY for the week. Bob, Kathleen, Gene and myself went to a flea market and to the beach.
the flea market was the post-apocalyptic affair that Gene promised it would be.
huge buckets full of metal scraps and used toothbrushes, knock-off sharpie-like markers, and the occasional minimally compromised antique priced to sell.
we met Rachel, Steve, and Alex there, and headed to the beach.
as we drove towards the water, the sunshine retreated and a thick fog rolled in.
our beach day was right in the thick of it, and turned slightly frigid. Bob, Gene and Steve still went in the water, and that was fun to see.
the waves were great, and it looked like we were on a little island at the edge of existence.
I went in up to my knees and did some hula-hooping.
we ate crappy beach food and got some coffee before dispersing and going our separate ways.
coffee for me is like switching gears, in that usually it makes me more able to function at a faster clip, but every so often I stall out.
Gene and I took "an experimental" course back to Sexton street and elected to watched an episode of Carl Sagan's The Cosmos.
but then both TOTALLY passed out about ten or so minutes into it.
and I'm sure had dreams about time and space.
over the course of the day, we'd been waffling about how to spend our evening.
he hadn't really been planning on joining forces, but agreed that none of the options were all that appealing.
we had both been invited to a rave, a going away party, and a midnight showing of Tommy Wiseau's 'The Room'. it was my belief that Lawrence was in NY, so I couldn't make any plans with him.
I had made up my mind to stay in and possibly work on some puppets.
after having our most excellent nap, it seemed clear that just hanging out and watching Cosmos would probably be the most enjoyable way to spend the night.
every time Gene and I try to watch some show at my house, something gets in the way. in light of Lawrence being out of town, and my house being equipped with adorable animals, we came here anyway.
I drove around a parking lot on the way.
after making this video, and getting Cosmos all ready to go, I checked my email.
there was a message from RISE (they stayed at my house last week, after I went to their show and learned they needed a place to stay.), saying that their bus broke down, and they were trapped in Boston.
now--- this wasn't an email directly from them. they didn't have my number, and in fact, one of them had to call a friend in LA to have her right me the email.
it was around midnight then, but the email was only two hours old, and it was Saturday, AND they are a band for a living, so I called the number and learned that they were in one of those impossible little traffic knots in the south end. and that their phone was dangerously low on power.
I handed the phone off to Gene who knows Boston about as well as anyone I've met, and he was able to give them good directions before this woman's phone died (something I would not have been able to do by myself)
Lawrence called to say he couldn't go to NY because too many of his things were at my house, and asked if anything was going on. I told him the abridged version of the ^above^, we had a laugh about it, and he and Ryan came over.
Funny enough, RISE's next destination was in NY, and (assuming the bus held out) they could drop him off pretty much where ever.
TO RECAP
nothing fun appealing was happening last night, so I was around to give this band a place to stay, and Gene was around to direct them here.
Lawrence was unable to take a bus to New York and now he gets to take a personal bus (full of pretty, interesting, talented people, no less) for free.
and I had something fun to do last night.
everyone's plans got all fucked up, but it still worked out fine.
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apiphobic's journal
